Where is Herbert Hoover when we need an economic genius?

Just about every honest economist knows that running up massive debt without an effective strategy to improve the economy is flat-out dangerous. If the U.S. dollar collapses, there will be a worldwide depression that will make the recent recession look like an after-party at George Clooney's house.

In the meantime, I can report the following federal expenditures that the president apparently has no problem overseeing:

--$27 million to the country of Morocco to teach the folks over there how to make pottery. I guess the Moroccan government is not capable of pottery instruction. This con is courtesy of the U.S. Agency for International Development, which now has the nerve to tell us that the pottery project is "not on track to achieve its goals." Translation, the dollars we sent were likely stolen.

--$1.5 million to the Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston to study why many American lesbians are overweight. The National Institutes of Health calls the situation "an issue of high public-health significance." Sure. Everybody's talking about it.

--$947,000 to research a "Mars menu." This would determine what astronauts could eat on the planet Mars if they ever get there. NASA says it will send six volunteers into a barren Hawaiian landscape to eat stuff so it can figure out what tastes good on Mars. I am NOT making this up -- with apologies to Dave Barry.

--$325,000 to develop a robotic squirrel. The National Science Foundation wants the robots to scare rattlesnakes. The agency also says the robosquirrels will help in "public outreach." Does anyone know what that means? Rocky? Bullwinkle?

--The National Science Foundation strikes again by funding a New York City theater company called The Civilians. They got nearly $700,000 in tax money to put on a play about "climate change and biodiversity." Have you seen that play? No? That might be because it only played in Kansas City. Even Al Gore hasn't seen it.

Finally, if you check out the Alabama Watermelon Queen tour this year, know that you paid for some of it. If you visit Nebraska, you should know that your tax dollars funded a company that makes shampoo and toothpaste for pets. And if you like caviar, well, you paid for a website designed to bring those exotic fish eggs to "the masses."

These expenditures are so stupid it hurts. But I also think they are a criminal misuse of our tax dollars. It is estimated that the federal government could save $400 billion a year by eliminating wasteful and redundant programs.

There comes a point when folks get the government they deserve. The American people re-elected Barack Obama knowing that he is the biggest spender of all American presidents to date. In fact, Obama has spent more federal money than every president combined up until George W. Bush's second year in office. And to this day, Obama and the Democratic Party are proud of their spending record.

The donkey is the symbol of the Democratic Party. It should be the robosquirrel.