GLENN BECK, HOST: May I ask you a question? In a nation of 310 million people, of people that invented air travel -- I mean, we went to the moon. We're the country that brought you travel destinations like Disney, Vegas and Dollyworld.
You'd think 310 million people, we could find somebody -- somebody -- who might be able to execute a decent trip for the most powerful man in the world. Do you think? Too much to ask? Really? Maybe he could help out with the culture and the etiquette of the places he visits. What do you think?
This trip to Europe for Barack Obama seems to have been planned by Clark Griswald. I mean, I don't -- I've never seen anything like it. I really haven't. I don't like to, you know, revel in his gaffes or his fumbles, but it seems to me that our country is really starting to resemble "National Lampoon's European Vacation." In case you don't remember, yes, those guys.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CHEVY CHASE AS CLARK GRISWALD: I can't seem to get over to the left, honey. I'll try next time. Sorry. We'll get out of this jam in a minute.
Kids, Big Ben.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BECK: OK. Upon arriving in Dublin, Ireland, President Obama tried to pull off one of the dumbest-sounding Irish accents since "Leprechaun" -- you know, the highly-acclaimed "Leprechaun" movies?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You see, you shouldn't be so greedy.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BECK: Yes. Now here's Jim Carrey -- I mean, President Obama -- after being greeted by the Irish president, listen to the --
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: See, the sun's coming out. I can feel it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BECK: You've got to be kidding me. It's a fine day! Top of the morning to you! Manly yes, but I like him too. OK. Stop, please.
Later that day, the presidential motorcade gets hung up like a teeter-totter at the embassy. Look at this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(CHEERING)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BECK: Oh. Should have checked that. Fortunately, the only thing harmed in the making of this debacle was our pride.
Then the president leaves Ireland early to escape the problems caused by the volcano in Iceland and the next day he's off to Westminster Abbey to sign the guest book. And here's his note. It's great. Oh, look at the way he signed it. "It's a great privilege to commemorate our common heritage and common sacrifice." And he does the date in a really European way. Ooh, let's put the -- let's put the numbers before the -- except it's signed 2008.
Mr. President, just keep reliving that year. I know it was a good year for you, wasn't it? Or is that -- did you inherit the wrong date from the last administration? I'm not --
Of course, our illustrious president then had a chance to redeem himself and said everything right with our closest and strongest ally over the past 100 years at the official state function. But don't worry, nobody was watching. It was just the queen.
He had to make a toast to the Queen of England. Now what could possibly go wrong? It was written out for him. Let me tell you something.
If you're squeamish, you might want to avert your eyes. This is really like watching "American Idol" where it gets so bad, you're like, oh, my gosh, I'm uncomfortable. I can't watch it. Watch what he did last night.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
OBAMA: To her majesty, the queen.
BECK: Cue the music, national anthem.
OBAMA: With vitality of the special relationship between our peoples and in the words of Shakespeare --
BECK: National anthem.
OBAMA: -- to this blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.
To the queen.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BECK: And nobody moves. There he sheepishly looks down after she says something and the next 24 seconds are eternity of hell. I think that's what hell is right there. That moment over and over again.
Can we get anybody -- is there a travel agent anywhere that can maybe -- I mean, I know jobs are -- I know jobs are plenty, you know. How about this guy? Can we get this guy to start making the travel plans so those 24 seconds don't seem like 24 years? Which really -- you know, it's hard to believe but that's really kind of what his term in office has seemed to a lot of Americans -- 24 years. Don't touch me Lucky Charms.
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